


Battles

by MasterSpamano



Series: Struggles [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-07
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:12:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterSpamano/pseuds/MasterSpamano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's village is under attack by raiders. Can he help save the village he was raised in? What will happen when Arthur comes to help?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Continuing Their Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike the first story in this series, the point of view will flip flop between Merlin and Arthur. This chapter is in Merlin's POV.

I looked around the room. It felt so empty and desolate without Arthur here. He could bring a warmth to any room and to any situation. Thinking of him made me smile, and blush slightly when I thought about what we had just done.

I can't believe I kissed Arthur! I ran the kiss over and over again in my mind. Arthur's tongue gliding against mine, his hips rolling down onto mine creating a delicious friction that I couldn't wait for again. Stuck in my thoughts about Arthur, I didn't realize how tight my pants were getting.

I was ripped from my thoughts by yet another knock on Arthur's door. By pure coincidence, I happened to look down, and I was surprised and embarrassed at what I saw. Blushing like the fool I am, I quickly reached for one of Arthur's blanket. I held it in front of me, hoping it would look like I was attempting to fold it.

“Yes?” I asked, my voice squeaking uncomfortably due to my nervous.

“Oh Merlin! It's you.” Gwen walked into the room, carrying some fresh linens. “You sounded like someone else.” she laughed slightly, as if not really sure what to do with me in the room.

“Ah, well, yes. I'm just making Arthur's bed.” I gesture towards the bed with a nod of my head, making sure the blanket was covering my obvious problem.

“Oh, shall I help you then? You don't want to over work yourself. You are still healing.”

I coughed slightly, desperately trying to think of a way to get her to leave without being rude. “Nah,” I said, trying to sound convincing. “I'm all right. Fit as ever. Arthur wouldn't make me work if I wasn't in full health.” I hoped he wouldn't anyway. “I'll be just fine. You have your own duties to deal with anyway.”

“Are you sure?” She looked doubtful and took a step closer to the bed. “It wouldn't take very long and I don't want you to get ill again.”

She walked towards me, moving as if to take the blanket from me. I took a step back, forcing myself to smile at her convincingly. “I'm sure. Go on. I'll take my time with the bed and then Arthur won't have time to make me do anything laborious.” I waved an arm at her in a shooing manner.

She still looked like she didn't want to leave. But she did take a step back. “I guess you're right. If he sees how long it takes you to make a bed he won't make you do anything too strenuous.”

My smile become more genuine, touched that she cared about me so much. “Thanks, Gwen. I'll see you later, okay?”

She smiled in return. “Of course.” With that she turned and walked out of the room, only pausing once at the door to look back and study me. I don't know what she saw, but it must have passed her inspection because she left, the door clicking in her wake.

I let out a sigh of relief. That was too close. I looked down, my pants were looser now, but it was still noticeable. Stupid pants, leaving so little to be imagined. Not that I would mind seeing Arthur in tight pants...

I fell back into daydreams as I slowly made the bed. I sat down where Arthur and I had kissed, the bed only half finished. I groaned. I was painfully hard again and it was making it difficult to even bend over to fold the sheets. Apparently all thoughts that dealt with Arthur made my hardness come back full force. I was just thinking about dumping cold water over my head, hoping that would help when the door burst open.

I jumped, nearly falling off the bed. My wild flailing of surprise caused it to become totally unmade once again. I looked up startled, looking for the intruder. A grin broke out on my face when I saw it was Arthur. “Miss me?” I asked playfully.

“Absolutely.” He rushed forwards, barely even closing the door before he captured my lips with his. Oh, how I wished I could live doing nothing but kissing Arthur. He cradled my face in his hands, bringing me closer. He broke away from the kiss, whispering in my ear, “I told them I forgot something. I just wanted to see you again. You're so distracting even when you aren't near me.” He voice was husky, painfully reminding me that I still had my problem and it was only getting worse with Arthur so close to me.

I groaned pushing him on top of the bed and crawled on, looming over him. “You shouldn't have come back.” I said, lust deep in my voice, causing Arthur to visibly shiver. “I don't know if I'll be able to let you go this time.”

I proved my point by grounded down on Arthur, letting him feel what he's done to me, even in his absence. He moaned out my name, reaching up again to kiss me. “We can't, Merlin.” He tells me, sitting up, he holds onto me so I don't fall. “We don't have the time. They will come looking for me if I'm gone too long.”

“Let them,” I practically growl. Kissing him forcefully again. Demanding entrance into that enticing heat of his.

After quite a few minutes of glorious snogging, Arthur breaks away again. I swear he is trying to kill me, slowly and painfully. “You know I can't let them find me here like this.” He said, leaning in and kissing my forehead gently. “I have to go.”

He lifts me up, as if I weigh nothing, placing me back on the bed. He kisses me one last time, resting his forehead against mine. “I love you.”

I reach down and squeeze his hand. “I love you, too. Be careful, don't be too rough on your knights.”

Arthur just grinned at me smugly, winking at me before he turned away, heading for the door. Just like Gwen, he pauses at the threshold, looking back at me. “See you soon.” I nod, smiling happily. He smiles in return and heads back towards the field to test his knights.

Weeks have passed since the morning Arthur and I confessed out love to each other. We've been able to keep our relationship a secret from everyone in the castle. Some might be curious as to why we seem to be better friends. But we haven't aroused any suspicions that would point to us having a relationship. But those weeks were anything but uneventful. We truly did act like a couple, though not so much in public. We argued and laughed, fought and made up, it reminded me so much of how my parents were when my father was alive it was almost scary. We had troubles just like every other couple.

Lancelot came to Camelot shortly after I was poisoned. I helped him trick Arthur into letting him try out for knighthood. It failed miserably after Uther found out that he wasn't of noble birth. I hated the few days after he left. Not only had I lost a friend, but Arthur stopped talking to me, unless it was to give an order.  
We had made up though, by the time that Edwin came into Camelot. A warlock who would do anything to enact revenge for his father, nearly killed Morgana, Uther, and Gaius. I'm just glad that Arthur never asked how Gaius and I healed Uther, or my magic secret wouldn't be so secret.

It seemed that it was one thing after another, because shortly after that, and girl and her father came to Camelot. Arthur seemed smitten. I still don't know if it was because he wanted to or because she made him, but I hated seeing him go out everyday with her, leaving me behind to make up some excuse for his father. All of which landed me in the stocks. Arthur barely remembered it after it happened, but I don't think I'll ever forget. Seeing Sophia kiss Arthur was one of the worst moments in my life. I had never felt such jealousy or hatred. I almost died when I couldn't find Arthur, after he fell into the lake, waiting for his soul to be taking by the Sidhe elders. I can't even remember how long I looked in that murky water for Arthur. All I can remember is the utter despair I felt. I felt like I was drowning in it, just as Arthur was drowning in the lake.

I did save him though. Gaius told him some stupid story about how he was going to elope with her, and I brought him back, having to hit him around the head, just to get him back. He gave me a look, which clearly told me I would have some explaining to do once Gaius left. I did tell him most of the story, leaving out all the bit where magic and myself were involved.

Next came the Druid boy. I hated keeping it from Arthur that I was the one who found him and brought him to Morgana. But Morgana thought it was necessary, seeing as she didn't know of our relationship, she would. He accepted my help, albeit reluctantly when Morgana suggested it, not wanting me to get in trouble. After the dragon told me not to help the druid boy, it was the thought of Arthur getting caught and not the pleas from the boy that made me go meet them that night. Though they did help. I'm not that heartless that I can ignore the cries of a young boy not wanting to die.

And I can't really express my relief when Uther took Arthur's place when the Black Knight came to fight to the death. I know the Dragon was angry with me for letting Uther use Excalibur, but I can't really find it in myself to worry, seeing as it probably saved Arthur's life.

So we lived our lives, as normally as we could. Trying to find anytime we could be together. Kissing in his room, or mine if Gaius wasn't there. Snuggling at night before I had to go back to my room, so Gaius wouldn't get suspicious. Though we rarely got to do any of those things, always worrying that someone would walk in on us unannounced, which had almost happened quite a few times. Sometimes Arthur would even pull me into a dark alcove in an abandoned corridor. He would pilfer my mouth as if it were his lifeline. It was always intense, and it always ended before either of us wanted it to. The thrill was amazing, but it always left us frustrated, never being able to go farther than a few stolen kisses and fleeting embraces.

I walked through the market, barely registering what I was seeing, thinking back on all the times Arthur and I have had together. I was getting water for Gaius, but I'm too distracted to really pay attention to what I was doing. I normally get this way when thinking about Arthur.

I was shocked out of my musings though, when I saw a familiar figure making its way though the throng of people. “Mother?!”

We both sat our things down quickly and she rushed at me. Bringing me in for a hug. “Merlin!” She exclaimed, smiling at me. I didn't have time to really return her smile before I noticed a bruise on her eye. It was a light purple color, with light brownish yellow spots.

Anger instantly rose in my stomach as I lightly fingered the bruise on my mothers eye. My voice was thick with anger and worry when I ask, “What happened?” My mother looked down, hesitating. “Who did this to you?” I tried again.

She just took a step back and said, “I'll tell you, but first I must speak to the king.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be following this episode as religiously as I did in Near Death. But to forewarn you, don't be surprised to read something that sounds familiar.


	2. Hunith's Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Arthur's point of view, how I missed it!

I sighed, bored already. Father and I had only been in the Court Hall for about ten minutes, but I already found my attention drifting elsewhere.

We were supposed to be listening to the concerns of the town's people today. At least once a month, Father would hold an open court, so the town's people could come to us, seeking help from raiders, asking for some grain in storage, seeking a job, and the like. So far, we've only been visited by a local farmer. He practically demanded compensation for a cow one of the knights killed by accident, thinking it was a deer. I cringed at his brusque attitude, thinking Father would send him away immediately for not showing the proper respect. I was pleasantly surprised, however.

My Father studied the man before him. “I understand your dilemma, and the knight will be properly disciplined. I, however, will not give you a new cow.”

I could see that the farmer was going to interrupt my father and argue his point. But Father quieted him with a raised hand. “I will not give you a new cow, but the knight will. I will make sure it is taking out of his pay and given to you instead.”

The farmer practically beamed when he heard this. He bowed low to my father, “Thank you my Lord that is most kind of you.”

My father waved him off, probably just as tired of this as I was. Seeing no one else waiting, I allowed my gaze to wander, taking in the hall and everyone within it. It was filled with guards, tasked to look over my father, in case some fool decided it was a good idea to off the king. Why we needed about twenty of said guards was a bit beyond me though. But I guess it's whatever my father wanted.

I continued to scan the room, Gwen and Morgana were there as well, for whatever reason. I didn't want to be there, I can't imagine why they would want to be there by choice. There was someone missing... I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I knew it was someone important too...

It was at the tip of my tongue, I could practically see the person who I was sure should have been there, when the door to the hall burst open. I glanced up quickly, glad I didn't jump in surprise. Something that brought me great joy. It brought me even more joy when I realized that my father had nearly lost his crown because he jumped so much. Trying not to snicker at my father's diminishing intuitions.

It was just Merlin. He bowed apologetically. My heart clenched upon seeing Merlin. I hated not being able to go up to him in public. Not being able to hold him and tell him I loved him where ever I pleased. I couldn't touch or taste that delectable piece of manservant in front of me. I knew he hated it too. I've seen more than enough longing stares coming from his direction not to know so. But I was a prince. It was unfair to both of us. But it was what we had to do. We couldn't let the whole world know about us. I wasn't even sure if we could let anyone know about us. It would be better that way. Knowing Father, he would marry me off in an instant if he knew I was involved in any way that was more professional than a prince and his servant. Because of this, it was more than likely that Merlin and I would have to keep our relationship secret our whole lives... or, that is, until my father has died. Which is a terribly morbid thing to think of while waiting to hear what these three needed.  
He walked over to me quickly, mumbling his apologies as he went. “Arthur, can I have a quick word.” Merlin asked. He sounded worried, so I agreed quickly and followed him out of the room with a quick excuse to my father.

“Merlin, what is it?” I asked him, instantly worried.

“It's my mother, Arthur. She came to Camelot.” Merlin told me, worry very visible on his face.

I didn't understand. “Why is your mother here?”

“I don't know, but she told me she needs an audience with the king, but she isn't a subject of Camelot.” Merlin left his sentence hanging, knowing I would be able to finish it for him anyway.

“Yes, that would pose a problem, wouldn't it.” Only people from Camelot and its outer regions were able to have an audience with the king. I took in Merlin's desperate look. I groped in my mind for a way to solve this. A sudden idea flashed in my mind. “Gaius!”

Merlin looked at me concerned. “Are you sick?”

I laughed, “No Merlin. Have Gaius introduce her. Father trusts him. If Gaius were to say that she needed to speak to him, then father would allow it.”

Merlin smiled at me. And I felt a light blush instantly flood my face. Whenever Merlin graced me with that smile that always happened. It was so full of love and trust and so many other emotions that I couldn't name. “Thanks, Arthur, you're brilliant.”

“Of course I am.” I began, but I didn't quite get it all out, because Merlin rushed away, probably to go tell his mother and Gaius the good news. I went back into the hall waiting for them to arrive. It didn't take too long for them to return.

I watched as they entered into the hall. It was all three of them. The first one was Gaius, wearing his everyday blue robes. Next was a woman, who seemed to be younger than my father, but probably not by more than ten to fifteen years. She was a fairly beautiful woman. She had long wavy black hair. She was dressed in peasant's clothes, but they still fit her well. It didn't take me too long to realize that she had a bruise taking up half of the right side of her face. So, this was Merlin's mother? I could see where Merlin got some of his good looks. Next to file in was Merlin.

It was Gaius who broke off from the group to speak to my father. “I have someone here, my lord that wishes to have an audience with you.”

Father actually seemed a little interested by this. I know I was. I looked over at the woman, taking the opportunity to study her further. She reminded me of someone, not that I could remember who. But the way her cheekbones rose high, almost nobly, and the wavy hair, they both seemed like something I saw on an everyday basis. I didn't give more thought to that though, as I saw Merlin had his hand held firmly in hers.

Anger rose in my instantly as I saw him squeeze her hand before letting go to step forward. I don't know why, but seeing him be so affectionate to someone who wasn't me fueled a fear and anger that I didn't know what to do with. I tried, without success to bury this feeling. It was Merlin's mother! There is no reason for me to feel angry at her for holding her own son's hand. Not knowing why I gave Merlin a searching look, hoping the answer would be written on his face. The answers to my obvious mental problems weren't there, much to my furthering frustrations. Merlin only graced me with a passing glance, which did nothing to aid in my unease.

I knew vaguely way this woman was here. Merlin had told me very little, but I knew she needed my father's assistance with something. I sat there wondering what she could possibly need to come to Camelot for, and my imagination went wild. What if she wanted to take Merlin back. What if the village needed him for a harvest of something else just as trivial. Father would most definitely grant her wish if she asked for that. My heart beating too fast for comfort, I was forced to stop my musings as she went forward, to stand in front of my father. Instead of continuing my attempts at giving myself a heart attack, I decided to learn from the source what she wanted. It would after all, be the quickest way.

I stood up straighter, waiting for her to begin. “My name is Hunith, my lord, I am Gaius's sister. I come to you with a great problem.” My mind whirled. Gaius's sister?! I'm pretty sure I heard in passing that Gaius was Merlin's uncle. But I must have let it slip my mind. Why do I continue to forget Merlin has a family that doesn't involve me? Yes, I had already started to consider Merlin as a part of my family. I immediately forced myself to make a mental note of everything she said.

So, I stood there, inwardly cringing in dread as she told up about her plight. “He has already killed a man. And he has only given us a week before we must have supplies ready for his return” She continued. “The winters are harsh. And there are many children. Some of them just won't be strong enough to survive.” I grimaced here. It wasn't a well known fact, but I had a soft spot for children. It was proven with that druid boy, Mordred. When I had to sneak him out of the castle. I already wanted to help this woman, a woman who was so close to someone that I loved.

She continued to give us a rundown of the situation. How her village barely had enough food as it is. “If Kanan is allowed to take our food, our children won't survive to live another summer. Please we need your help.” Well, if it were up to me Hunith would have my full support. How dare she fling dying children on us. That is a terribly low blow. I expected father to instantly agree to help her. But, of course, I was wrong.

“Ealdor is in Cendred's kingdom, your safety is his responsibility.” My father drawled at the woman before him. Of course my father would say something like that. How could I have thought differently. Mentally slapping myself for being so stupid, I turned my attention to Hunith.

“We have appealed to our king, but he cares little for the outlying regions.” Hunith replied quietly, it almost seemed as if disappointment was already thick in her voice. “You're our only hope.”

It was silent for some time. Taking a quick scan around the room, I saw that everyone was watching my father, waiting, with what I imagined as baited breath, for his decision. “I have the deepest sympathy for you.” My father began to say, finally gifting all of us with his choice. “I would have this barbarian wiped off the face of the earth.” My father added an extra dash of disgust when he spat out the word barbarian.

“You'll help us?” Hunith asked, new hope strong in her words. Her eyes practically glowed with her thanks.

My father just leveled his eyes at her. “I wish I could.”

I looked at him in surprise. It wasn't asking much, just a little support so they didn't all starve to death. From what it sounded like, Kanan didn't have that many men. It wouldn't take too many knights to subdue them. “Surely we can spare a few men?” I asked my father.

“Resources are not the problem.” my father replied, acting as though we were all stupid for not knowing this already.

“Then what is?” Morgana said, finally making herself known.

My father started to tell us where Ealdor was. “To enter it, would be an act of war.”

I nearly rolled my eyes at this. I was stopped though, when I saw Hunith kneel down upon the floor. Her eyes pleading with my father. “I know you're a good king, a caring man.” I raised my brow at this. Who was spreading such lies about my father. Sure, he was a fine king. But a caring man, not even he thought of himself as such. “I'm begging you, help us, please.”

I couldn't understand how my father didn't want to rush down to Hunith and promise to help. It took all my willpower not to do just that. “The accord we struck with Cendred was years in the making. I will not sacrifice hundreds of lives for the sake of one little village. I'm sorry, but Camelot will not be able to help.”

Hunith lowered her head, knowing that this was Father's final decision. There would be no changing his mind now. Morgana, always the one to help the downtrodden, rushed to the kneeling woman's side. Slowly helping her up to her feet, nearly embracing her as she led her to Merlin and Gaius. Hopefully she would get the comfort she needed from her son and brother. I saw Merlin glare at my father before looking over at his mother, his eyes softening noticeably.

The three of them, Gaius, Merlin, and Hunith, left the hall without another word. They didn't even give my father a backwards glance as they left. My heart ached for Merlin. I truly wanted to help him in this. I would give anything I had to make Merlin happy. And helping his mother would clearly do just that. But I didn't know how I would help. Father wouldn't send any men. And that was the only way I could think of to solve the problem.

My father sighed next to me, causing me to look over in his direction. He seemed to be thinking, his eyes were staring off into space and he wasn't paying any of us in the room any mind. “Father?”

“Hm?” Father looked over at me, his face seemed almost sad, as if he really were sorry that he couldn't send up to that village.

“Are you sure we can’t' send some sort of help.” I tried to think of some way that we could get to Ealdor without Cendred's notice, but I could think of none.

“No, Arthur. I'm sorry. We can't.” Father waved his hand in a clear dismissal. Apparently we weren't going to stick around here any longer. I nodded to him before I left.

I wanted to go look for Merlin, but I knew he needed some time with his mother and Gaius. I made my way out to an outer wall walk, content to just look at the surrounding area of the castle. Watching the people of Camelot come and go, bustling in the city life. I smiled faintly at them, wondering if Hunith would be jealous of their simple lives, free of raiding threats.

I hid my smile though, when I heard footsteps approaching me. I glanced in the direction of the nearing sounds. And a true, but small, smile broke out on my face when I saw who it was. It didn't stay long though, as I took in his sad disposition. Even knowing that he was most likely going to give me some form of bad news I couldn't help but be glad that he was again in my presence. I felt my heart swell with joy as he walked up right next to me, leaning on the wall with me. I really couldn't think of anything to make his obvious grief any better. So I just said the first thing that came to my mind. “I'm sorry. If it were up to me, we would be on our way there now.”

“You tried. And thank you for helping us get an audience with the king.” Merlin said, looking at me as he talked.

“I wish Camelot was able to help people, regardless of how far away they lived.” I said, hoping it would be something I could change when I became the king.

“I'm going back to Ealdor.” Merlin told me resolutely. Inside I panicked. I didn't want him to go back where he could potentially get killed by raiders.

I tried not to let my frantic worrying show as I said in the most deadpan voice I could must. “Of course.”

“It's been an honor serving you.”

I looked at Merlin quickly, raising a brow at his choice of words. But seeing the hiding meaning behind those words nonetheless. “You'll be coming back.” I said it as a statement, but it was actually more of a question. I needed to know if Merlin was planning on returning or not.

“She's my mother. I've got to look after her before anyone else.” His eyes pleaded with me to understand. “You understand?” He even asked.

I bit back my pleas for him to stay with me, knowing that he would hate himself if he didn't help his mother now. I looked away from him, making sure he couldn't see the absolute despair that made its way into my own eyes. “I do.” I was relieved that my voice didn't break with the overflow of emotions I was feeling. “I would do the same.”

Trying to dispel the cloud of depression that hung over us, I jokingly told Merlin, “Well, you've been terrible. Honestly terrible. The worst servant I've ever had.” I heard Merlin laugh at me, and my heart soared at hearing the sound.

“Thank you, Sire.” He turned and left me then.

But before he could get to far, I shouted after him. “Merlin.” I turned making sure he stopped. “Good luck.” He nodded at me, before he turned and left me. I looked back over the town, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. Whispering to myself I added, “You better be careful, Merlin. I don't think I can lose you now.”


	3. Going Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back again to Merlin's point of view.

Before I went up to meet Arthur on the upper walkways, I helped my mother out of the court hall, followed quickly by Morgana, Gwen, and Gaius.

“I can't believe he won't help.” Morgana said, sounding beyond angry.

“I understand.” My mother said, her voice coming out strongly, though I could see unshed tears in her eyes.

“I don't” Gwen said honestly. “Why can't he help your people? It's the right thing to do.”

“Uther can't risk a war. Like he said, he can't risk everyone in Camelot for the few people who live in Ealdor. Lord Cendred would most likely declare war on Camelot if he saw Uther lead knights into help with Kanan.” Gaius explained patiently.

“I'm sure if Uther explained to him-” Morgana began.

“No,” Mother interrupted. “Cendred would look for a fight, no matter what Uther said. I should have foreseen this. Then I would have saved you all the trouble.”

“It's no trouble.” I assured my mother. “Don't worry. I'm going to come back and help you. I promise you that.”

My mother smiled at me slightly, glad that I was back at her side. I saw Gwen and Morgana exchange a look, a look I didn't have time to decipher. I turned to Gaius, “Will you look after Mother for a while? I need to go tell Arthur.”

“No, I don't want to be a bother.” Mother insisted. “I will wait for you to come and get me in the market. That will give me time to clear my head and to calm down.” Gaius and I quickly agreed.

“I'll start getting things around for you then, Merlin.” Gaius said, leaving with Hunith to show her how to get back to the market.

“Come see me after you see Arthur. I'll get a sword ready for you, all right?” Gwen said.

“Thanks, Gwen. I'll be there shortly.” With that I turned, walking away from my two friends. I didn't really know where Arthur would be, so I started looking in his favorite haunts. I found him quicker than I would have expected, which wasn't good for me. I didn't have time to figure out how I was going to tell him I was leaving.

He seemed to know though, when I told him. And he seemed genuinely sad that he couldn't help. It wasn't the tearful goodbye I was expecting. Arthur made it seem as if I were just going away for a few days. That nothing life-threatening was awaiting me at my destination. I didn't want to leave. I didn't even get a kiss goodbye from Arthur. But being out in the open, I didn't really expect it. The first time I tried to leave, I got called back, thinking Arthur had reevaluated the kissing idea. But he only wished me good luck. A sentiment that I accepted with a smile and a nod of my head.

I walked away from Arthur, pausing just out of sight to lean onto a nearby wall for support. All I could think about is how I couldn't do this. I couldn't leave Arthur, not like this. I loved him too much, needed him too badly to leave now. I was about to walk back to him, tell him that I couldn't leave, when I heard him whisper, “You better be careful, Merlin. I don't think I can lose you now.”

I almost rushed back to him, just to hold him in my arms again. But I stopped myself. He might not want them to, but his words reminded me why I needed to go. I had to save my mother and all the friends I left behind. Silently promising Arthur that I would live to hopefully see him again, I turned to go see Gwen.

I walked out of the castle, only stopping once to look up at where Arthur and I had just been talking. My heart clenched when I saw that Arthur was still there, looking down at me with a 'my puppy just died' look about him. Even from down here, it looked as if Arthur was about to cry. I smiled up at him lightly, hoping to alleviate some of his sorrow. He seemed to brighten immediately as he smiled back and gave me a small wave. Waving back, I turned and went into Gwen's house.

She was in the process of packing supplies for me when I got there. I went to help her, stowing away some food and drink into a little red satchel. “Here.” I looked over at her, she was extending a sword in my direction. “Tell me how that feels.”

I took the sword nervously, I never really got used to swords. They would never be my favorite thing, truthfully, I hated the blasted things. I twirled it around a few times, wondering if this was how Arthur felt when holding a sword. My stomach did an uncomfortable flip-flop at the thought of Arthur, but I pushed it away, trying to concentrate only on my current task. “Yeah, yeah.” I said hesitantly. “It feels good, really good.” I paused hoping something more intelligent would come to mind. Nothing did, so I just kept talking, “It's very,” I paused again, taking time to rap on the sword, listening to the metallic sound that emanated from my motion, “swordy.”

I continued to study the sword as if fascinated, but truthfully, I just didn't want to see Gwen's look, after hearing me say something so absolutely stupid. “I've packed some armor for you, as well.”

This caused me to turn to look at Gwen as she stuffed some chain mail into a sack. “I won't be able to carry all that.” I tell her, only slightly confused.

“You won't have to.” Morgana says from behind me. I turned around, she was dressed in a loose tunic that was pulled closer to her frame by a corset-looking thing (I might dress Arthur every day, but I still don't know what every piece of clothing is called), trousers, and boots. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. I look at her confused. I rarely ever see her out of her court dresses. “We're coming with you.”

I turn to look at Gwen just in time to see her nod her head, a look of determined pride on her face. I quickly turn back to Morgana. “What do you mean?” I asked, not being able to keep all the excited hope out of my voice.

It was Gwen's turn to answer me, this time. “You're going to need all the help you can get.” She smiled at me, her smile very comforting. She gestured to the bag she was holding. “I can mend armor, sharpen swords.”

“And I know how to fight.” Morgana finished where Gwen left off.

“But you can't.” I tried arguing, though not putting any heart into it whatsoever. I couldn't even keep the smile off my face. “I mean, why would you?”

“If it were the other way around, you'd help us. You already have. You saved my life.” Gwen told me, her voice full of determined passion.

“And you helped me get the Druid boy out of Camelot.” Morgana supplied helpfully. I internally cringed at the thought of Mordred. I didn't like thinking about the time I nearly left Arthur alone in the tunnels. It wasn't the shining moment of my life. “We owe it to you, both of us.”

Again, I turned to Gwen to see her nod in agreement with Morgana. This was more than I could have hoped for, I never would have dreamed of Gwen and Morgana wanting to help me and my village.

“I really don't know what to say.” I told them, smiling at them, letting the pure happiness show on my face.

“A thanks will do for now.” Morgana told me, answering my smile with one of her own. “Now finish getting ready. Gwen and I will meet you at the stables in an hour. I expect that you'll need to say goodbye to Gaius before we leave.”

I nod, brining both Gwen and Morgana into a quick hug before I said, “Thanks. You really have no idea what this means to me.”

With that I ran out of Gwen's and made my way to my room. Hoping that Gaius would be there, and not off doing his rounds of the castle. Luck was with me, because when I entered the room, I saw Gaius there, already working on packing a bag for me.

“Ah, just the person I was looking for.” Gaius told me, distracted as he rummaged though his things looking for only God knows what.

“And how were you looking for me, may I ask? I doubt I would be hiding in the cupboard.” I asked with a cocky grin plastered on my face.

Gaius took the time to throw an irritated glare my way before turning back to the cupboard. “Do you know where I put the water skins?”

I gave the room a cursory glance and smiled. “They're on the table.” I said affectionately.

“What?” Gaius asked me, not fully listening. “No they're not. I would have-” Gaius turned around, looking at the table. “Oh, so they are.” He threw another glare at me for good measure when he heard me snort. “Go and fills these for me, while I prepare some food for you.”

“All right.” I took the skins off the table and made my way to the well just outside the castle quickly. I didn't have much time, and I wanted a chance to say my farewells to my uncle.

When I got back Gaius and I busied ourselves with packing me more food and figuring out how to get it all to fit in one tiny little bag. “Did you get the food I prepared?” Gaius asked for the third time.

I couldn't help but sound exasperated when I replied. “Yes.”

I had finally gotten everything to fit in the sack, tying my bedroll on top of it all. “Be careful with the wine.” Gaius warned. “You know what you're like. One sniff of it and you'll be singing like a sailor.”

I smiled, knowing that he was mostly true. “I'll be fine.” I assured him.

“Now, you're sure you don't want an extra blanket.” He sounded worried.

“It's okay, really.” I tried to reassure him. “I'll be all right.”

Gaius nodded at me. “Well, make sure you are.” I hoisted the pack onto my back, finally turning to look at him. “Do whatever it takes.” I give him, what I hoped look like a confident and reassuring smile, as I nod at him. I patted him on the shoulder, looking not only to comfort him, but myself as well.

I was more than a little surprised when after I patted him, he pulled me into a tight hug. He added a few good thumps of affection as well. I nodded at him once more, grinning. I grabbed my other bag and headed for the door, it was time to go meet Gwen and Morgana. Pausing only once to give Gaius one more parting nod and smile, I closed the door behind me and ran to the stables.

As I ran, I went and got my mother. “I'm ready to go.” I told her, holding a hand out for her to take. “Come on, we are going to go meet Gwen and Morgana at the stables.”

“Those lovely girls have decided to go with us, then?” Mother asked.

“Yeah. They just told me when I went to get a sword from them.”

Mother didn't look entirely happy about the prospect of me having a sword, but she nodded nevertheless. “All right. Let's go then, we mustn't keep them waiting.”

Walking hand in hand with Mother, we walked to the stables. We made it there just as they did. I smile at them in greeting. “Ready to go?” I asked, immensely glad that they had decided to come with me.

“Yeah.” Morgana sounded distracted. “Just need to load up the horses and we can be off.”

I smiled at her, turning around to saddle up my horse. “Um, Merlin.” Morgana said, hesitantly.

“Yes?” I asked her.

“Will you follow me for a second? I have something I need to ask you in private.”

“Of course, my lady.” I sat my things next to my mother's and quickly followed Morgana out of the stables. “What is it, Morgana?”

“Arthur was looking for you earlier, after you left us at Gwen's. I told him when we were leaving. I thought he would be here by now.” Morgana took a quick look around.

“We've already said our goodbyes, my lady. I'm sure he didn't need anything.” Though my heart hurt to say such words, they were true. Seeing him again would probably just make leaving more difficult.

“Are you so sure about that.” came the snide remark somewhere behind me. I spun around, my mouth gaping as I took in the sight of Arthur, grinning like a fool. “A word before you leave, Merlin?”

“O-of course” I mumbled, thrown by his sudden appearance.

Morgana grinned at us both. “I'll see you inside, then. Don't keep him too long Arthur, we have to be leaving soon.”

“Yes, of course.” Arthur replies, not taking his eyes off of mine. Once he was sure that Morgana was gone and completely out of ear shot, he grabbed my hand, dragging me to a secluded corner of the stables. “Here, follow me.” Arthur urged.

I followed him blindly, confused not only by him but by the giddy nervous feeling that was currently rolling around in my gut. “Arthur, where are we going?”  
“Away from prying eyes of course.” Arthur responded as if it were obvious.

“Oh” was my, oh so intelligent reply.

I heard Arthur snort at my well thought out retort and I had enough sense to scowl darkly at him. “Oh come on now, Merlin. I'm just having a little bit of fun.” With that Arthur pulled me forward forcefully, stealing my breath away by his closeness.

My voiced sounded weak and breathy but I managed to gasp out a quick, “Arthur?” before my mouth was occupied with other things. Arthur crushed his mouth onto my own, effectively taking away what little breath I had left. I whimpered feebly as I felt Arthur's tongue slide against my bottom lip, seeking entrance.

I heard Arthur groan when I opened up, allowing his tongue to slide against mine. I gripped Arthur's shirt tightly, feeling my knees go weak as Arthur completely pillaged my mouth. His fingers were pulling at my hair lightly, moving my head slightly so he would have better access to my mouth.

We both moaned out loud when he ground down onto me. By the time he broke away, we were both panting for air. He continued to grind against me as he attacked my neck, kissing along it, pausing every now and then to nip at certain spots.

Between his licks and nips he managed to get out, “God, I'll miss you.” He started to suck on my clavicle, making me moan even louder. “I wish there was something I could do. Some way for me to make it better for you.”

Trying to form coherent thought and gasping for breath, I replied, “It's all right. I know you want to help. That's enough for me.”

I could feel Arthur smile against my shoulder. “I love you so much.” He told me passionately.

My heart did a happy flip that it always did when Arthur said those words. “I love you too, Arthur.”

“Merlin? Where are you? We have to leave now.” I could hear my mother yell from the opposite side of the stables.

“Damn!” Arthur exclaimed and I full heartedly agreed. “Be safe, all right?”

“Yes, of course. Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing.” I told him, hoping I sounded convincing.

Arthur scoffed. “Oh, yes, that makes me feel loads better.” I hit him lightly on the shoulder, causing him to laugh. “I'll try to think of something. Some way to help. I promise.”

I smiled, kissing Arthur chastely one more time before turning to leave. Glancing over my shoulder I told Arthur, “Thanks for coming to say goodbye. I would have regretted not having a proper farewell.”

Arthur walked to me, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Me too, Merlin, me too.” He let his hand linger for a few more seconds before letting it drop. He walked out of the stables and I walked back to my traveling companions. I couldn't help the smile that was split across my face as I got on my horse and headed towards Ealdor. And I couldn't stop my completely pleased attitude, courtesy of Arthur, and truth be told, I didn't want to.


	4. Arthur's Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I keep warning you, but this is in Arthur's point of view.

I stayed where I was, up on the upper walls. I didn't know if I could leave. I didn't want to be seen around the castle as the prince who couldn't even take the leaving of his manservant. Something the maids would gossip about to no end. I sighed, still wishing I had tried to talk Merlin into staying. But after hearing Hunith's problem I wanted to leave too. But Father, more than likely, wouldn't let me leave to go on a dangerous mission such as this. But there had to be some way I could help.

I don't know how long I stood there, watching over the town. It seemed to be only mere seconds before I saw Merlin again, walking into town. He glanced up, on pure chance, to see me still here. I don't know what I looked like to him, but it must have been bad. I could feel the tears that still threatened to come and I think I might have been frowning slightly, but who really knows. 

I saw Merlin smile up at me, just ever so slightly. I instantly berated myself. I was making this harder for him than I should have. He needed to go and help his mother. That was something that I could understand. He didn't need me hanging over his head, distracting him when he would be fighting against Kanan's men. Pulling together all my strength, I forced myself to smile down at Merlin brightly, not only trying to prove to him but also to myself that I still could. His smile became more genuine after that and he gave me a small wave, which I gladly returned, sighing in relief because I had fooled him.

After he turned back around to leave I decided it was time for me to leave too. I went to the stables first, making sure the stable hands knew to get our best horses reading for Merlin and Hunith's trip. After doing that, I went to go see Morgana, she could probably make me feel better.

Making my way to her chambers, I knocked on her door. “Come in.” was her muffled reply.

Pushing open the door, I was surprised at what I saw. Morgana was in a riding outfit, neatly folding clothes into a bag. “What are you doing?” Shock the most dominate emotion in my voice.

“What does it look like, Arthur. I'm packing.”

“Well, I can see that. But why?”

“I'm going with Merlin, of course.”

My brain came to a screeching halt. “Going with Merlin...?” I let my question hang, staring at her blanking. My emotions started swirling inside my mind. Hurt that she were going with him and I was not, surprise that she even offered, and jealous that I could not be part of their party.

“Yes,” Morgana said slowly, looking at me with open concern. “Both Gwen and I are going. Merlin has done too much for us not to help him now.”

I turn and look at her sharply. “Oh, has he?” I couldn't keep the venom from my voice.

“Oh, you know what I mean, Arthur. I understand that you can't come too, so does Merlin. You have responsibilities here. No one would ask you to come any way. But Gwen and I are going, we will help Merlin in anyway we can.” Morgana took a step towards me, still looking worried.

I tried to school my face, trying to hide the hurt and frustration from her. I shook off her hand that rested comfortingly on my arm. “Do you know where he is now? When do you leave.” my voice still sounded bitter. 

“I really have no idea where he is at, probably packing as well, I would guess. But we are leaving in an hour. I have to go and tell the workers in the stable to get the horses ready. ”

“Don't worry about it,” I told her quickly. “I will get it all settled for you. You need to finish packing. I will go tell Father that you are going on a short trip to a neighboring kingdom, visiting a friend, as well.”

“Oh, Arthur, thank you. You'll come say goodbye won't you?”

“Yes, yes. I wouldn't miss it for the world.” I told her snidely. 

With that I walked out, feeling worse than I did before I had gone to her room. I didn't give myself much time to ponder this as I nearly sprinting to the stables. After dropping off the message that more horses would be needed I made myself scarce for the next hour. Roaming the castle, letting my depression seep into my very bones. All I could think about was Merlin. I have tried to teach him how to use a sword but he was anything but decent. He could block a blow yes, but not very many in a row. Without me around to watch his back how would he survive? Morgana was decent with a blade, even I won't deny that from our childhood. And I assumed Gwen knew something about handling one, seeing as her father made them for a living. But Merlin, he could barely sweep out my room without hurting himself. 

I really didn't want to think about this. Even time my mind conjured up a new form of death for Merlin, my stomach flipped uncomfortably, and my lungs had to work twice as hard to get any air. I imagined Merlin getting shot by a crossbow, bleeding out in his Mother's arms as the townspeople of Ealdor were slaughter around the grieving mother. I imagined Merlin getting skewered by a ruthless swordsmen, left to breathe his last breaths alone, with only the sound of clashing steel to accompany him in his journey to the afterlife.

Trying to shake myself from my morbid thoughts, I realized that my hour was almost up. I would only have about five minutes to get to the stables before they said they were going to leave. Running off towards the stables, I made it in time to see Morgana pull Merlin aside. I paused just out of sight, but close enough to hear, taking the time to compose myself. I straightened out my outfit and fixed my hair as I listened. 

“Arthur was looking for you earlier.” I hear Morgana say faintly. I watch as Merlin's eyes instantly swirl with despair. Tuning Morgana out, I just watched Merlin. I could clearly see that it hurt him to think about me, about having to leave me. I silently agreed. After hearing Merlin say that I really wouldn't show up, that our business was finished already, I thought it was the perfect time to announce myself. 

“Are you so sure about that?” a cocky grin on my face, as I watch Merlin stand there, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Watching Merlin stutter and stammer nearly made me forget that he would be leaving me soon. I convinced Morgana to leave us be, promising I wouldn't keep Merlin long. I pulled him to follow me, telling him we needed privacy when he asked where we were going.

Once I was sure we were out of hearing distance and securely hidden from view, I stopped. I heard Merlin question me again, before I snapped. I lunged at Merlin, my mouth seeking his desperately. All I could think about was that this could be the last time I got to kiss Merlin, kiss the man I loved with all my heart. Hoping beyond hope that this wouldn't be the last time I got to taste him, I ran my tongue against his bottom lip. Knowing what I wanted, Merlin opened his mouth. Groaning I thrust my tongue into his willing mouth. How I will miss this taste. A taste, that no matter how many times I tried it, would still taste like the best thing in the world. I would never tire of Merlin's taste. Merlin pulled me closer, gripping my shirt in a near vise-like grip.

I felt more than heard Merlin moan into my mouth, when I rubbed up against him. Even his noises were delicious. I wanted to hear more, grounding into him again, harder this time. Merlin pulled away suddenly, both of us panting. Not really taking the time to catch my breath, I attacked Merlin's skin. Trying to memorize just how each spot that I came into contact with tasted. I took my time, making sure to lick, nip, and suck at every delicious looking spot, which ending up being nearly all of Merlin's exposed skin.

Wanting Merlin to know just exactly how I was feeling, I managed to gasp out a quick, “God, I'll miss you.” I know I said something about wanting to help him, but my mind was too drunk on Merlin's taste to really know what I was saying. I know Merlin reassured me, but I concentrated more on the sound of his voice, rather than what he was saying.

I couldn't handle this, I wanted to whisk Merlin away right now, leaving Morgana and Gwen alone to try to help Hunith. Pushing back the urge to run away from it all with Merlin by my side, I fervently told him, “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” Merlin assured back, causing me to grin foolishly around Merlin's skin. 

Before we could go any farther, we both heard Hunith calling Merlin. I know Merlin kissed me at least one more time before leaving, both of us knowing that it wasn't enough for either of us. Not wanting to be there when they left, I told Merlin goodbye and made my way out of the stables. I still had a job to do for Morgana, so I hurried off into the castle. I only stopped once, to look out a window. Watching as Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, and Hunith rode out of the stables and away from the castle. Watching them until they were out of sight, I sighed. Now it was time for me to go lie to my father. Hopefully he will believe me, something I really shouldn't hold my breath for.

I started towards the court hall. Father might still be there, taking audience with someone. Luck wasn't with me, as the room was painfully empty. Entering the room now, all I could think about was Merlin's face as his mother told us her heartbreaking story. I shook myself, it wouldn't do to get sentimental now. It wouldn't help Merlin or Morgana. Sighing, I made to leave the room. Just as I was reaching to open the door, it swung open, nearly braining me in the process.

“Hey!” I shout indigently. “Watch it.”

“What are you doing here?” My father said with all warmth gone from his voice. 

“Actually, I was looking for you.” I mentally shrugged off the fact that my father didn't apologize for very nearly mutilating my beautiful face (I have on good accounts that my face is gorgeous, it's not just me being narcissistic.)

“Well, seems that you've found me. What is it that you need?” My father looks at me, taking a cursory glance at me. His brow furrowing in concern. “Are you all right? You seem a little pale. Should I have someone call for Gaius?”

Waving him off, I focus on his first question. “Morgana wanted me to pass on a message to you.”

“Oh?” Father asked raising a brow at me quizzically. “Let's hear it then.”

“She is going to visit a friend, said she would be gone for maybe a month. She is taking Gwen with her, to keep her company on the roads and to help her while she's there.” I paused for a second, letting Father absorb my lies. “She would have let you known herself. But she just received an urgent message, her friend asking for her to come visit as soon as possible. You know how Morgana is, doesn't like to keep people waiting.”

“Yes, of course. The roads are dangerous though. She shouldn't go alone, with just a maid to protect her.” Father let his sentence hang, as he looked off towards the window, thinking.

My brain worked in over drive, and I smiled at him. “Well, I'm not really needed. We won't have a fresh batch of knights for a while now. And it would be good for them to learn to work without me, in case I get injured while serving you, my lord. I could go, escort Morgana and Gwen. I can handle anything that a roadside bandit could throw at me.” My smile turns to a cocky grin as my father studies me once more. 

“I guess you could be right. You have been looking distracted as of late. Maybe taking a little break would be good for you. Bring some color back into your skin.” 

“Yes,” I agree quickly. “It would be just what Gaius would order.”

My father nodded, successfully duped. “We are leaving today. So, I will need to go get ready.”

“Yes, yes, of course. I will see you when you get back my son. Be careful, will you?”

Touched by the rare moments of his concern and worry, I just nod at him before turning and running to my room. Merlin and his company had left only a few minutes earlier. I might be able to catch up with them by nightfall if I hurried in my packing, and left within the hour. Throwing things haphazardly into a bag, I packed a few changes of clothes. Stealing into the kitchen, I charmed some provisions from one of the cooks. Winking at her, I said my goodbyes.

Next I ran into the armory. I strapped my armor on with a precision that Merlin lacked. I grabbed my sword and bag and made my way to the stables. No one was working, which was lucky for me, because it would be hard to explain to Father why I left so much later than Morgana and Gwen. I grabbed my favorite horse and made my way out of Camelot.

I kept to the most common trails that headed towards Ealdor. I hoped that Merlin had enough sense to stick to those, or his trip would take days longer, and I highly doubted that Ealdor had that much time. I rode into the night, knowing that Merlin would have stopped by now for the woman. Hunith walked to Camelot on foot, probably hitching a ride whenever one crossed her path. She wouldn't have much experience with a horse. And Gwen and Morgana wouldn't be used to riding a horse for a very long time either. Merlin would have stopped them in a clearing, allowing them to rest. 

It was getting dark, almost too dark for me to see where I was going. But I had to ride on. I don't know why it was so imperative for me to reach them tonight, it was just a feeling. So I pushed myself and I pushed my horse, urging it to continue. Before long I came upon a campsite. I stopped my horse near a clump of grass, tying him to a tree. I crept closer, investigating. If it wasn't Merlin, I would keep on my way. But if it was Merlin, I would wait for everyone else to fall asleep before I made myself known. 

Fortunately it was Merlin. He was sitting on a log with his mother, both of them studying the fire. I wasn't close enough to hear what was said. I figured it had to do with Kanan though, because I saw Merlin lightly trace his mother's bruise. They didn't look like there were going to stop talking soon. I let my eyes nearly close, resting them while Merlin and Hunith talked. I was barely awake, leaning comfortably against a tree when I saw Hunith get up. I thought it would be better to wait until I knew Hunith had fallen into a deeper sleep. That way Merlin and I could talk without being over heard. So, I stayed where I was, just contently watching Merlin. I saw him pick up a smoldering piece of wood, eying it thoughtfully. I nearly had my eyes closed when I saw the embers swirl around in front of my love. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me, because the last thing I saw before I fell asleep was the embers swirling together to form a dragon.

I woke not even an hour later. I stood up stiffly, my body protesting at its awkward position. I looked over at Merlin, he seemed to be sleeping fitfully. I went over to my horse, pulling him closer to the rest. He didn't like the fact that I had to wake him to do this. Neighing and huffing at me indigently, he followed me toward the other horses. I saw Merlin get up, pulling out a sword in the process. I grinned to myself as Merlin started to head in my direction. I quickly tied the horse with the others. Making sure to conceal myself with the fog that billowed about, having settled while I was asleep, I looped around getting behind Merlin. 

He looked around nervously, looking for any kind of intruder. I could hear his quick panting for breath. I could tell he was terrified about looking for the source of the noise alone. I crept closer to him, resting my sword against his back. “I'd ask you for money, but I know you don't have any.”

“Arthur!” Merlin swung around, sword still in hand, nearly decapitating me in the process. 

Slightly pissed at nearly dying because of his foolishness, I sneered, “Put the sword down, Merlin. You look ridiculous.” I stalked past him, towards the fire, him following behind me like a happy puppy. Inwardly, I smiled too, glad to be back in his presence, even if I wasn't yet ready to tell him that.


	5. A Warm Welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's point of view.

“They shouldn't be here, especially Lady Morgana. Isn't she the King's ward?” My mother asked concerned.

“Not that you'd know it. She is the only person I know who isn't frightened of him.” I paused, thinking about Arthur. He said he wasn't afraid of his father, but I think secretly he was. Or at least afraid of how he might judge him.

“It won't make any difference to Kanan, to hurt woman. It's not safe. They shouldn't have come.”

“I know.” I said quietly. “But I couldn't talk them out of coming.” I conveniently forgot that I never tried. Slowly I reached up and lightly traced my mother's bruise. “I'm going to make him pay for what he did to you.” 

“Promise me you'll be careful. No one can find out about you.” My mother urged.

“They won't.” I told her. “They never do.” This was more of a burden than she thought. I would love for Arthur to know, to have his unconditional acceptance. But I couldn't exactly bring that up to my mother.

“Get some rest.” I smiled at her, and nodded. Watching as she walked to her bedroll and laid down.

I continued to stare into the fire, watching the embers fly around. Picking up a slightly burning stick, I blew on it, “Draca.” The embers flew into a formation of a dragon. Grinning, I put the stick down. Allowing myself a few more minutes of quiet, my mind turned to Arthur. I wondered what he was doing now and whether or not he was missing me. I knew I was missing him terribly, and I only left him this morning. Sighing to myself I forced those thoughts away. I got up and made my way to my own bedroll, settling upon it.

I tried sleeping, really, I did. But it was damn near impossible to fall asleep. I might have been used to sleeping on the floor when I was back at Ealdor. But I think I got spoiled always having a bed back in Camelot. And it was a very comfortable bed at that, especially the times I shared with Arthur. 

I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. Giving a frustrated huff, I reached under me, pulling out a knotting stick. I tossed it roughly to the side and fluffed up my impromptu pillow. I sighed quietly, not wanting to wake up my mother. Just as I was settling down, feeling my eyelids grow heavy with sleep, I heard a noise. Starting, I had a slight panic attack. I didn't know if I could protect everyone against a robber. But I had to do what I could. Breathing hard, I got up, pulling my new sword out of its sheath. 

My palms were sweating and my legs felt wobbly as I walked towards the noise. Fog was swirling around my feet and the trees were creaking from the strength of the wind. I heard the noise again. It sounded like a horse. I calmed a bit, thinking it might just be one of our horses. 

That was until I heard a twig snap from behind me. I held my sword closer to me, fear once again cursing through my veins. I jumped when I felt a blade fall on my back. “I'd ask you for money, but I know you don't have any.”

I twirled around, “Arthur!” I cried in pure joy. That joy was closely followed by horror as I watched Arthur duck below my swinging blade. I inwardly chastised myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Put the sword down, Merlin. You look ridiculous.” Arthur walked past me, grumpy as ever. I followed behind him, just happy that he was near me again. I watched as Arthur sat on the log my mother and I were sitting at earlier. I smiled, sitting down next to him. 

“I didn't think you were going to come and help.” I said, turning to look at Arthur. 

“Who else is going to watch your back, if I'm not around?” Arthur asked me jokingly.

“Who says I need to have my back watched?” I joked back, glancing up at Arthur. 

I looked Arthur in the eyes, drowning in his azure depths. I blushed as lust flowed through my body. Arthur was too close, the fire giving his skin a healthy glow and I could see the flames dancing in his eyes. He smirked at me. He had, of course, noticed my blush. As infuriating as that could be. He slid closer to me. “Are you all right, Merlin? You seem a little flushed, are you too close to the fire?” Arthur asked me, the same self confident grin plastered on his face.

“N-no. I'm fine, just a little warm I guess.” I flushed darker, seeing Arthur raise his brow in suspicion.

“Of course you are. I wouldn't mind making you a bit warmer though, it is quite chilly tonight.” Arthur said, as he shifted closer to me. He ran his hand through my hair, tugging on it lightly to tilt my head towards his. He leaned forward, his breathe ghosting over my ear. “Are you getting any warmer, Merlin?” 

I gulped as a shiver ran down my frame. I nodded my head, not trusting my voice at the moment. “Mmmhh.” I heard Arthur hum in my ear. “Good.” Arthur pulled me closer, nipping at my ear gently. I groaned.

“Arthur.” I practically moaned. “We can't. My mother is just over there, and what about Gwen and Morgana?” I forced myself to concentrate, pushing Arthur away slightly so I could look in his eyes.

Arthur's eyes looked clouded with lust. “I thought I was going to lose you. I thought I would never see you again. You have no idea how many times I imagined your death, and I wouldn't be there to save you. I want you, Merlin, so much.” Was Arthur's response. Before I could reply, Arthur gripped me around the waist, pulling me up to my feet swiftly. “Follow me.” His voice was gruff, making me shiver again.

All I could do was follow as Arthur pulled me through the forest. By the time we stopped I couldn't even see the light from the camp fire. Arthur twirled around, shoving me roughly against a tree. I moaned, loving the feeling of Arthur's body against mine. “Arthur.” I moaned as he sucked on my neck harshly. I just knew it was going to leave a mark. 

“Say it again.” Arthur ordered.

“God, I'll say anything if you do that again.” I said as Arthur's hand slid over my tightening pants.

“Say my name, I want to hear you say it again.” 

Arthur lifted my shirt up, running his hands over my taunt stomach, making my muscles twitch with his light caresses. He pulled at my shirt, taking the hint, I lifted my arms, letting him rip it off me. I shivered as the cool air hit my heated flesh. He started kissing my chest. Taking a nipple in his mouth he swirled his tongue around it. “Uhn, Arthur!” 

I could feel him smiling against my skin as he let his teeth graze against me, making me jump and moan. He moved to the other side, giving my other nipple the same treatment, sucking, nipping and licking at the sensitive nub. 

He moved up my body again. Sucking on my pulse point, “Arthur.” My mind was blissfully blank, the only thing that resided in it was Arthur and the intensely pleasurable things that he was doing to me. I moaned as Arthur gave a particularly hard suck.

He broke away, leaning back far enough to look into my eyes. “I need you, Merlin” Arthur told me, lust and affection saturated in his voice. I could only nod my head, not really knowing what Arthur wanted.

He licked his lips, and I couldn't help as my eyes followed the action. He leaned forward almost tentatively, as if he thought I would pull away. He softly captured my lips with his own, lightly biting my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I gladly gave it and I whimpered in my own need as Arthur's slick, warm tongue glided in my mouth. He took his time exploring my already well known mouth, making me whimper again as his tongue slid against the roof of my mouth, making my already hard arousal twitch, begging for attention.

I heard and felt Arthur moan into the kiss when I wrapped my tongue around his and sucked on it gently. I replied with a moan of my own as Arthur urged my tongue into his own mouth, graciously giving my tongue the same opportunities as his own. I was drowning in Arthur's taste. I barely even registered the fact that Arthur's hands were traveling south, down my body, as I pillaged his mouth. 

I broke away with a gasp when I felt Arthur's hands slip into my trousers, lightly holding my stiff arousal in his hand. He leaned in, whispering in my ear, “I think you're wearing too much.” Arthur paused, licking up my ear, chuckling softly at my shudder. “Let me help you with that.” With his free hand, Arthur loosened the ties on my pants, pushing them down my legs until they pooled at my feet. Never letting go of my arousal, Arthur guiding me out of my pants. “My cape, Merlin, take it off.” I quickly did as he asked, though my hands were shaking as I tried to untie the knot keeping Arthur's cape on. Heaving a heavy sigh, Arthur released me, yanking the cape off himself. He laid it on the ground, pushing me down upon it. He quickly pulled his own clothes off, tossing them carelessly away. Then he settled above me. His hands were on me in an instant, picking up where he left off. His tongue teasing my flushed skin as his hand worked up and down my cock. I arched up into his hand, moaning loudly as Arthur's mouth mapped out my skin, taking a particularly hard bite of the soft skin on my hip. Working the sensitive flesh with his teeth, I couldn't help but give a low shout of pleasure. “Tsk, tsk, mustn't be too loud, Merlin. Don't want the ladies to hear.” Though his words were reprimanding, his tone was light and joking. Teasing me again, he licked up from my inner thigh up to my jaunting hip bone. His free hand tickled up the other leg, as his occupied hand pulled a little harder. Arthur twisted his wrist just right making me call out his name.

“S-Stop teasing me. I can't take much more of this.” I begged, not wanting this to ever stop.

“I want to see you come undone, Merlin. I want to hear you scream my name as I'm pounding into you.” Arthur whispered seductively.

“Oh, god, yes. Please, Arthur.” I had never wanted Arthur this badly before. Sure we explored each other's bodies before. But never like this, never this extreme, this intimate. It was sending thrills down my spine and I knew I wouldn't last much longer if Arthur kept stroking me like that.

Arthur looked at my arousal, precum already dripping from it. Arthur licked his lips, causing it to twitch. Arthur smirked, apparently pleased with this response. He leaned forward and before I could even hazard a guess at what he was doing, I was thrown into a new level of pleasure that I had never felt before. His tongue licked up the base of my cock, pausing at the tip to swirl around it. I bucked my hips, wanting more. Arthur chuckled again, gripping my hips forcefully, and I couldn't help but feel even more aroused at the rough treatment. “Impatient, are we?”

“Don't make me beg, Arthur, please.” I looked down at Arthur, my eyes half lidded in pure need.

“Beg for what, Merlin, tell me what you want.” Arthur's voice was low and it practically vibrated through my whole body.

“I need you, Arthur. I need you to touch me again.” My voice sounded whiny, but I couldn't find it in myself to really care at the moment.

The only response I got from Arthur was his hot, wet mouth around me again. Sucking harshly as his tongue swirled around my length. I tried to buck my hips again, but it was in vain. Arthur's grip was so tight it would probably bruise, but I loved the feeling of his hand holding me like that. While his head bobbed up and down, moving up and down my length, his other hand moved up my body, pausing at my nipples to give them a light pinch. I attempted to buck once more, not being able to control my body, Arthur had total and complete control over it. He kept moving his hand up, letting his finger slide across my lips, before I opened my mouth for him. I looked down, our eyes locked onto the other's. I was nearly pushed over the edge just by the look in Arthur's eyes. He hummed in approval as I started to suck on his fingers, wrapping my tongue around each one before moving to the next. I made sure, with as much concentration that I could muster, to pay extra attention to the sensitive tips. 

It wasn't too long before Arthur pulled his fingers out of my mouth. Tracing his fingers down my body, he left a wet trail down my stomach as he circled around my balls, before coming to his destination. He slowly rubbed his finger around my puckered entrance, waiting for my muscles to loosen and relax for him. I tried to will my muscles to relax quicker, which was easy seeing as I was very distracted by Arthur's mouth. 

When Arthur slid one finger into me, I tensed. Feeling an almost unpleasant burn, I wiggled slightly. Arthur lifted his head, making sure that he kept stroking me with his other hand. “You all right?”

“Yeah.” I said, panting. “Just a little strange.”

“I know. Just let me know if I hurt you. I want you to enjoy this too.” I was touched my Arthur's concern, letting me know he truly did love me.

“All right, just keep going.” Arthur smiled at my words, slowly thrusting his finger in and out. It wasn't very long before he pushed another finger in, allowing me a minute to compensate and get used to the feeling. He started to thrust his fingers in deeper, moving them around to try to loosen me even further. All too soon, he added a third finger. Pain raced up my spine, and I felt a whimper escape my throat. 

Arthur immediately paused, looking into my eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”

“N-no.” I stuttered through the pain, “Keep going.”

Arthur nodded, slowly thrusting his fingers in farther, curling his fingers. A flash of white flared up and I moaned loudly. Whatever Arthur did, I wanted him to do again. “Oh, please, Arthur! Do that again!”

Grinning Arthur curled his fingers again, hitting that spot again and again. I was now withering under him. Chanting his name, as if it was the only thing keeping me sane. He removed his fingers and I whimpered again, not wanting him to stop. “Shh. I'm still here.” Arthur assured me.

Pulling me into a heated and passionate kiss, Arthur lined himself up to my entrance. Breaking apart we both were panting for air. “Are you sure about this, Merlin.”

“As sure as I will ever be, I love you, Arthur.”

“I love you too.” And with that Arthur slowly pushed into me. The pain was only a dull throb, Arthur had taken great care and time to prepare me for this. He was shaking above me, his panting breath ghosting over my lips. “Oh, god, Merlin. You're so tight.” He forced out between pants.

Leaning up, I captured Arthur's lips in another kiss. It didn't last too long before I pulled back. “Move.” I urged him.

Arthur's forehead came to rest against mine, as he slowly pulled out, nearly all the way, before he slid, painfully slow back in. His pace was agonizingly slow, not wanting to hurt me. “Nuh, Arthur. Ah! Faster, please!”

Listening to my direction, for once, Arthur sped up, thrusting his hips faster. I started thrusting back, meeting him. Angling his hips, he found that spot again, the one that made me see stars behind my eyelids. Gasping, followed by a low and loud moan, I got out, “There, oh god, harder, Arthur.”

Arthur groaned, his pace fast and deep. I felt like I was losing my mind. My thoughts were clouded with lust and all I could think about was Arthur thrusting deep inside me. I never wanted it to end. But I could feel a tightening in my stomach. I nearly lost it right then, as Arthur reached in between us, and started pumping my arousal again. “I'm so close, Arthur.” I moaned kissing him forcefully.

“Me too. Love you so much.” Arthur mumbled against my kiss. That was all it took. Break from the kiss harshly I yelled Arthur's name as my hot seed spurt out, coating Arthur's hand and both of our stomachs. Arthur gasped as I clenched around him. His pace was a frenzy now, as he race towards his own release. 

Pulling his ear to my mouth, I whispered, “Come on, Arthur. Fill me.” As I licked his ear, I felt him release inside me keening my name as he came, and I greedily accepted it all, never wanted to part from him again. Arthur collapsed on top of me, panting.

“Bloody hell. That was amazing.” Arthur told me brokenly in between pants.

I could only nod and kiss his neck sloppily. He turned his head, meeting my lips in a wet and lazy kiss. I don't know how long we stayed like that, connected to each other, resting in each other's arms. But it felt all too soon before Arthur pulled out slowly, placing himself between my spread thighs. “We better clean up, it will be morning soon and we need our rest if we want to reach Ealdor quickly.” Arthur said wisely. 

Again I only nodded as Arthur used his cape to wipe both of us down. Rolling it into a ball he put it to the side, helping me up and dressing both of us. I was really too tired to move at all. Stifling his laughter, Arthur scooped me up, and carried me to my bedroll. He lay me down next to my still sleeping mother. After carefully covering me up he turned around and tossed his cape into the low burning fire. It immediately caught flame and burned. Watching for only a second, Arthur turned back around. He kissed me lightly on the lips. “Sweet dreams, love.”

Yawning, I said, “You too. Night.” Arthur unrolled his bedroll on the other side of the fire. Before he had even settled down I had fallen asleep. The last thing I saw would grant me pleasant dreams throughout the night. Just as I was closing my eyes, Arthur bent over, allowing me a view of his very nice and well toned arse. Needless to say, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sister fic to this chapter. It's called Forest Fun and is part of my Struggles Series.


	6. The Beginning Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's point of view.

I woke up slowly, not really remembering where I was, but feeling pleased for some reason I couldn't completely understand. I stretched, feeling my tense muscles loosen with my movements. I grunted softly, feeling something dig painfully into my shoulder. I heard someone snicker. I bolted upright, gripping for my sword instinctively.

"Good morning, sleepy head." I looked over at Merlin as he spoke. He blushed lightly at my close scrutiny. Seeing the red flush brought all the events of last night flooding back into my brain. Merlin's soft skin, his full lips, his breathy moans, all of it rushed through my mind in perfect clarity. I felt arousal course through my body just remembering last night and I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as I realized that Merlin's mother was awake sitting next to Merlin.

"Good morning, Hunith, Merlin." My voice was rough with sleep, but I took pleasure in the fact that it caused a barely noticeable shiver ran through Merlin's frame. Grinning I got up and stretched, seeing Merlin blush even darker as he eyed my lithe frame. I started to walk away from the low fire burning in front of Merlin and his mother. "Have you had anything for breakfast yet?" I kept my voice low, just then noticing that Morgana and Gwen were still sleeping.

"No, we haven't. We thought we would wait for everyone to wake first." Hunith whispered to me.

"All right. Merlin, why don't you help me go get something now, that way we won't have to waste our supplies. I'm sure we can find something out here."

"Yeah." Merlin agreed, getting up and following after me. I only graced Hunith with a parting glance as a goodbye, but it was enough to see her eye us curiously as we walked away.

"I think your mother suspects something." I said straightforwardly.

"I wouldn't doubt it. It's not every day that a prince comes to the aid of his servant. My mother is not stupid nor was she born yesterday, she is bound to think something is between us. Though it is unlikely that she will think that we are together like we are." Merlin rambled quickly.

Giving him a mildly concerned look, I asked, "Are you all right? Do you wish that I hadn't come? If this is going to make things awkward for your mother, I can tell her that I only came for Morgana and Gwen if you want. But I don't think anyone would believe it for a second. And it might make them more suspicious, but if you want me to, I will."

Merlin looked at me shocked for a few seconds. "Of course I want you here, Arthur! I don't care what my mother thinks. It was terrible when you weren't here. I wouldn't have it any other way."

I grinned at Merlin. "Good. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for what we did last night." I was rewarded with a fiery blush.

"I wouldn't either." Merlin says almost shyly.

I walk over to him, my smile becoming more genuine. "Good." With that I leaned in, seeking Merlin's lips with my own. The kiss was sweet, innocent but still delicious. I pulled back before it had gone too far. "We have to find some food. Come on." We searched for about half an hour, only coming up with a small supply of berries and a rabbit. "Hopefully that will be enough, I didn't really bring all that much with me, just a few pieces of bread."

"We brought a bit more, but with five us now, we'll be going through the supplies faster than we would have." Merlin added.

"Well, with Morgana, I can see why you would run out of supplies. She's not used to this kind of thing. She's never left the castle without an armed escort." I joked.

"Oh, really? And you have?" Morgana asked from behind me, making me jump.

Trying to appear as princely as possible I retorted, "Well, yes, I have. I leave the castle on a regular basis. And I usually go alone. At most I have Merlin with me at times. And remember when Merlin was poisoned?" I saw Merlin wince, and I felt his pain, that was a terrible time for us both. "I had to go alone." I told her proudly.

Morgana just looked at me with her familiar scowl, shaking her head in frustration. This only made me grin more broadly. I think I was too happy overall what with besting Morgana in an argument and still having the taste of Merlin on my tongue. I tried to force the smile off my face, or at least tone it down a bit. We were going to go fight bandits, it wouldn't look good to be smiling like a loon the whole time. I gave Hunith the rabbit and she, Morgana, and Gwen turned to clean and prepare it. I was left behind with Merlin. I winked at him once the women's backs were turned, making him blush once more.

Breakfast was a quick affair. We had the rabbit cooked and eaten within an hour. Packing up camp quickly we set off. It was going to be another two days before we reached the village of Ealdor. The road was fairly empty, only passing another traveler once or twice a day. We traveled mostly in silence, our thoughts one the impending battle.

We made good time. Morgana, Gwen, and Hunith rode far longer than I thought they would. And even Merlin proved to have great stamina while riding. I had to force them to take a few rests a day so not to tire the horses. We ended up getting to Ealdor about midday, three days into our trip. This wouldn't give us very long to get prepared before Kanan arrived.

We entered the village, passing a few farmers practically running back to their lands. The village looked... sort of homey, I guess you could call it. I can't imagine living with thatched roofs. It nearly made me shiver in disgust. One more reason why I'm glad my father is the king of Camelot. But moving on past the dismal form of architecture, the villagers didn't look like they were much better off than the buildings.

We had barely entered the village when we heard screams and shouts up ahead of us. A worried looked passed between us. We were too late, Kanan's men must already be here. It was just a good thing that we traveled so fast. We pushed our horses forward, urging them to go faster as we made our way into the center of the village.

Kanan's men were ravaging the village, searching through houses and barrels, presumably looking for some of the harvested food. I rode quickly into the middle of it, throwing one of my swords at a man about to bring an ax down onto a villager. I assumed this man was Kanan. He was built like a leader. Strong arms hoisting the ax were covered by armor and his face was covered in a greying beard and a huge scar that covered nearly half of his face.

He looked up as my sword embedded itself in a fence post not five inches from his face. His face twisted half in an ugly grimace and half in a look of utter shock and confusion. I jumped off my horse, my other sword already in my hands. Upon landing I spun around bring my sword up against one of Kanan's men. Blocking his strike I took a quick step towards him, my fist making a satisfying crunch as it connected with his face. Behind me I heard Merlin ride up, but I didn't have time to check on him, another man was coming towards me effectively turning my concern elsewhere.

As I dueled the man who charged at me, I listened for Merlin. The second he needed me I would rush to his side. I could hear him exchanging blows with his opponent as I traded them with my own. I heard the man Merlin was fighting yell out in pain, before I could look though, my masked opponent struck at me again. I blocked out of pure instinct before I slashed at him with my own sword. He fell as I cut him from one shoulder to the opposite hip.

I turned around, my heart leaping up my throat. All I could see was a sword falling at my face, before I could even will my arm up to block the blow another sword entered my line of vision. My eyes widened in surprise, looking at my rescuer. It was Morgana, her face set in a determined mask as she twisted her sword. The move throwing her opponent off balance, giving her time to land a blow of her own. She turned to me, as her opponent fell dead behind her, "Bring back memories of when I used to beat you?" Her grin was cocky as she asked me.

She was already sprinting away from me, so I blurted out quickly, "That never happened." I looked exasperatedly after her as she made her way from me. I wasn't allowed to get distracted however because Kanan was mounting his horse preparing to make a fast retreat.

As he was galloping away I heard him yell, "You'll pay for this, with your lives, all of you!" He and his man made their way quickly out of the village heading towards the surrounding forest. No one moved for a few seconds, letting themselves relax after the fight.

Finally, I was giving time to study the surrounding villager. They were dressed in very much the same garb as Merlin or the town's people in Camelot wore, but they looked worn down. It looked like they were used to being stepped on. They all looked extremely thin, unhealthily so. They all had a grim, haunted look on their faces, like they were used to this harsh treatment that life had dealt them.

The silence didn't last long though, however. Soon the villagers were talking amongst themselves watching us as if we brought the plague with us. I made a quick check, Morgana and Gwen were fine, they were standing with Hunith, quietly conversing with her. Merlin was a ways in front of me, talking with a man who looked about our age. They looked like they were arguing at first, and I was about to make my way over there to see what was the matter. But as I watched they made their way towards each other, gripping onto one another in a fierce hug.

Jealousy made my vision turn red for a few seconds. I had to quell the beast that wanted to tear out of my body and attack the one who dared to touch my Merlin. I shook my head, knowing that I shouldn't keep watching them. My stomach clenched painfully as I saw Merlin's happy face as he laughed with the man still partially residing within Merlin's grasp.

My brain desperately worked for anyway I could get them apart. Merlin told me before that he was going to stay in Ealdor for his mother, but what if she wasn't the only reason. What if it had to do with this man, this wretched, lowly peasant. Again my stomach clenched, because that was exactly what Merlin was, if you asked my father. He and I couldn't really be together. As soon as my father found out about us, he would send Merlin away or have him killed. Wouldn't it be better if I just left him here. There were people who loved him here. He would be safe here. And if how that man was looking at Merlin was any indication, he would have someone to love after I left.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of my very repugnant thoughts. Just thinking them made me feel like I had to vomit, and wouldn't I just look like the strong stately prince then? Instead, I straightened my spine, and took a few steps towards the reunited couple. As I walked towards them I heard the unknown man say, "So I hear you are serving a prince now." The tone was light and playful.

"I wouldn't say serving-" Merlin let his sentence hang for a second. Not wanting to hear what else he might have to say about not serving me (and my mind went right to the events of last night, when Merlin served me very well after the women had fallen asleep) I interrupted.

"Merlin, gather the villagers. I need to talk to them." I told Merlin with probably an unnecessary amount of gruffness to my voice. I forced myself to project an image of indifference.

"Yeah, I will in a minute, I'm just..." Merlin began to reply.

What Merlin was just doing, I'll never know. I interrupted him harshly, "Now, Merlin." I ordered. I didn't even watch to see if my orders were followed, I didn't really care if they were, though I knew Merlin would never outwardly disobey me. I really just didn't want to watch him with his friend any longer. So I made my way to the girls, pretending I was just worried about them. I acted like all I was there for was before I wanted to make absolutely certain they were uninjured, not that I didn't want to be around Merlin anymore.

A "yes sire" followed me as I walked away. I made sure not to look behind me. I didn't want to see how Merlin or his friend looked after my annoyed orders. I stood next to the women as Merlin hustled around the village collecting everyone he came across, telling them to go to the center of the village for a meeting. I watched Merlin's lithe frame as he sprinted across the damp grass, slowly but surely collecting the people of the village. After about ten minutes of waiting he came back. A fairly large crowd had gathered. Merlin gave me a nod, letting me know that everyone was there. I walked to the front of the group, preparing myself to talk with the villagers.

"I know men like Kanan." I began, looking through the crowd, "He'll be back. And when he is, we must be ready for him. Now first we have to prepare,"

"Am I the only one who's wondering who the hell this is?" The man I saw Merlin with early made his way through the crowd, effectively stopping my speech. I looked at him as he glared back up at me, before giving a cursory glance at the crowd around him. His eyes stopped momentarily at Merlin before they resumed their journey.

Heaving an internal sigh, I replied to him, "I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot."

"Yeah, right, and I'm Prince William of Ealdor." the man said back at me. All right, I thought, this boy is becoming a nuisance. But at least I had a name to put with my curses now. William, eh? What a distasteful name. For a second, I let my thoughts wander, considering have the name William banned in Camelot after I became king. My thoughts were interrupted again, however by Hunith.

"Quiet! He's here to help us." Hunith said, standing next to William's side.

"He's made this worse. Kanan will be back and when he is he'll be looking for revenge." William looked back at me, pointing at me as he said, "You've just signed our death warrants."

"He saved Matthew's life!" Hunith nearly shouted at the man.

Not wanting to listen to them argue any longer, William was already giving me a headache, I cut in before Hunith could continue. "It's all right Hunith. It's his village." Here I turned my attention to William. "What would you have us do?"

William looked at me, then looked back down again, letting out a loud sigh, "We can't fight against Kanan. He has too many men."

"What else would you have us do?" I questioned him immediately.

"Give him what he wants." After William's remark, the villagers started to mumble their disagreements.

I raised my voice, making sure I could be heard over the rumble of the villagers. "And do what? Those of you who don't starve to death will still have to face him at next year's harvest and the harvest after that."

William turned away from me to face his fellow villagers. "We'll manage, we'll survive."

I could tell that the villagers didn't agree with him, if their shouts of indignation were anything to go by. I decided to try to reason with him. "The only way he can be stopped is if you stand up to him." I told him in a patient voice, something I didn't think I would have been able to pull off just then especially when I couldn't stop imagining jabbing him repeatedly in the eye.

"No!" William looked at me, his eyes flashing with an angry passion. "You just want the honor and glory of battle, that's what drives men like you." He started to gesture angrily with his hands. "If you want to fight, go back home and risk the lives of your own people, not ours."

At that, William stormed off. I thought that was that, but then Merlin went to follow him, saying "Will!" as he went. I had to force my jealousy away once again as Hunith began speaking to me.

"I'll follow you." Hunith told me with conviction. "If I'm to die, I want to go out fighting!"

Matthew walked up to Hunith, "That goes for me too." This started a chorus of "Me too" and "You can count me in."

I looked into the faces of all the villagers, surprised at their strength and bravery. I couldn't think of anything to say to them just then, my mind was full of worry. Where had Merlin gone? And what was he going to be doing with William while they were away.


	7. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's point of view.

I watched Merlin as he walked away, following after Will. I barely registered the talk the villagers were having about the up coming battle. I had to quell the urge to run off after them but I knew I had to get the village prepared for Kanan. But I vowed to follow after them as soon as I could. 

Putting my mind back on the task at hand, I turned to Hunith. “I need to separate the men into one group and the woman into another. Can you help me with that, Hunith?” 

“Of course, sire.” She set out to do her task quickly. Once they were separated I strolled down the line of men, sizing them up, estimating as I went how much work it would be to train them into something that had even the remotest chance of defeating Kanan's men. Internally I grimaced. They were frail looking and all were unaccustomed to fighting while Kanan had men who were battle hardened and would not hesitate to kill another human being. Hopefully they had hidden strengths. I hoped growing up in a town where you had to do everything for yourself made them stronger than they looked. It would take all the experience I had to get this group ready to fight.

Turning to Morgana and Gwen, I ordered, “Gather what weapons you can. Gwen make any sword and spear you find ready for battle. I need them sharpened and checked for balance.” Gwen assented with a nod and ran off with two villagers that I waved to go with her. “Men, I need you to go through your homes and search for anything that might be of any use. Anything you might consider to be a good weapon, grab it. It might save your life later. Woman, go through all the clothes you can find. Anything leather or strong will help protect you. I want all of you to meet back here in an hour and tell me what you've got.” 

Everyone scattered, most of them jogging off towards their home. Hunith walked up to me. “You have nothing to worry about, you know.” Hunith said while placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. 

“Going into battle with a village of untrained men is something I worry about.” I snapped, instantly regretting my harsh tone. 

Hunith just nodded, giving me a gentle smile that was so familiar to the one I see on Merlin's face countless times during the day. “About Merlin. He is childhood friends with William, but I know he cares a great deal about you. He would choose you over him any day.” She squeezed my shoulder once before turning away and walking to her house. 

All I could do was sputter after her as I watched her leave. But, bloody hell, was Merlin's mother perceptive. A blush rose up my neck towards my face as the meaning of Hunith's words sank in. If she knew about us and was still comforting me... hope blossomed in my chest. She must approve of our relationship. Having someone on our side was good to know. 

Speaking of Merlin, he was still with Will. I had given myself an hour. I could follow them and listen in. I rarely felt the need to eavesdrop on Merlin. I haven't done it since I listened to his talk with Gaius. After I was released from the dungeon for disobeying my father for searching for the Mortaeus flower. Even with Hunith's reassurance, I felt the need to check up on my manservant. 

I stalked through the houses, avoiding the villagers least they stop me on my way or draw unwanted attention. I only knew the vague direction that Will and Merlin went in so it took me longer than I would have liked to find them. I was drawn to their raised voices, I could here them even from 3 cottages away. And this was by no means a densely packed village. I hurried along, staying low so they wouldn't see me if they looked out the window. 

“Why are you defending him so much?” I heard William's loud voice shouting. “You're just his servant.” 

“I'm not just his servant, we're friends.” Merlin shot back. I will forever deny that Merlin defending me like that made my stomach do a happy little flip. 

“Friends don't lord over you like that. You saw how he was like after Kanan left. He just ordered you about like all you are to him is his slave.” William's accusation made me visibly grimace. He was right. I know that I was a royal prat, to use Merlin's own words, to him in the village center. But of course I am not going to like seeing my lover with another man. Especially if that man is as blatant about his affections as William is. It was glaringly apparent that Will felt something more than friendship towards Merlin. 

“It isn't like that. Not most of the time.” Merlin said, softer than before. Guilt flooded my system. If Merlin thought I lorded over him what kind of relationship did we really have. I know we butt heads sometimes and he still is my manservant, but I thought I had come leaps and bounds since we started this. I rarely gave him a chore that could be done easier by someone else and after all the times we've risked our lives for each other, I thought we had an unbreakable bond. 

I shook myself for being such as girl as William started talking again. “Let's see once the battle begins. See who he send out first to fight.” I could barely contain my huff of annoyance. Who else am I going to send but the villagers. It's not like I have a legion of knights with me. I would have brought them if my father would have allowed it. He did not. There was only so much I could do. I was already disobeying my father by simply coming along. I held no hope for sneaking some knights with me as well. For one they still answer to my father. While they are loyal to me, disobeying my father could mean death or a permanent stay in our dungeons for them. 

“He's not like that! I trust Arthur with my life.” I grinned a bit too widely at this statement. My trust in Merlin was unquestionable. We have been through too much together for us not to trust one another. I told Merlin everything. He was with me nigh constantly. If I didn't trust him I wouldn't have kept him around. I couldn't help the surge of happiness that sprang to life knowing that Merlin trusted me just as much.

“Is that so? He knows your secret then?” I took a step closer, they were talking barely above whispers now and I could just manage to make out what they were saying. Just as I took my final step closer I stepped on a stick. Flinching, I jumped away from the window as stealthily as I could. I ran to the other side of the house, making sure to hide myself from their view. 

I listened as all conversation stopped. William must have stuck his out out of the window because I heard him tell Merlin, “There is no one around, must have been an animal.” 

Taking my chances I crawled back under the window, watching my step for anything that would make a noise. I stayed a safe distance away, farther than I would have liked because I could barely hear them. 

“Face it, Merlin. You're living a lie, just like you were here. If you were more than just his servant you would have told him the truth.” I frantically racked my brain for anything that Merlin would want to keep secret from me. I came up with nothing in the ten second span I was giving. 

I was forced to quickly dart away from the house and sprint back to the center of the village as Merlin said to Will, “Either way, we have to be going. I need to check in with Arthur and see if he needs anything to help protect this village. You can either help or not, Will. I don't really care. But this is my home and I will protect it with Arthur's help.”

I made it back to the village center without attracting to many curious stares from the villagers. They were, luckily, too busy searching their houses to notice me run off like a scared child about to get chastised by their parents. 

It was lucky for me that I wasn't seen. My mind was frantic. Merlin was keeping something from me? I thought we trusted each other with everything. What could be so important that Merlin would want to keep it from me? 

Hoping not to get spotted by Merlin, I made through the village looking for Morgana and Gwen. I knew they would get my mind off him. They were near Hunith's house. Gwen was sharpening the swords we had with us with a tool she had borrowed from the local blacksmith. Laying next to her were a collection of other items, all either waiting for their turn or already finished. 

They smiled at me as I approached. I nodded in return as I made my way to them. “How is everything?” I asked.

“We are low on weapons and what we do have isn't much to look at. But I'm fixing them up and readying them to distribute them once they are battle ready.” Gwen said this all without looking up, never taking her eyes off the sword she was currently working on. 

“Good work. Let's go see how everyone else got along. I need to know how prepared these people are going to be in a battle against Kanan's men.” We walked together towards the center of town, meeting up with Merlin and Will along the way. Merlin gave me a shy, small smile. I returned it with one of my own cocky grins. In the corner of my vision I could see Will eying our interactions. I had to use all my training in princely patiences not to smack him upside the head. 

When we got to the village it was to a sad sight. It was rare to find anyone with a proper weapon. Spears and swords were scarce. The most common tool was a broom or shovel. I sighed slightly. “Was this all that you could find?” Better safe than sorry. Maybe it was some elaborate village joke and they would all pull out their real weapons so we could have a good laugh before the battle. 

The village, as one, nodded. “We don't have much, sire. We are but a humble farming village.” A random villager told me. 

I held back a grimace. “Yes. Well, we will start training tomorrow. Get a lot of rest tonight, it will be an intense training session tomorrow and I want you all at your best. I just need to check out what you brought.” If I'm going to train them, I need them to be rested enough to have their wits about them. 

“Good work everyone. I will see you bright and early tomorrow.” With that, I dismissed the villagers, walking with Gwen, Morgana and Hunith to her house. I was disgusted to find that Merlin hung back with Will to chat a bit more. Stomping off a bit faster than the girls, I wanted to get away from Merlin and Will as fast as I could. 

When we were outside Hunith's thatched cottage, I turned towards the girls, “Why don't you rest up for now. We've been traveling for days and after that little skirmish this morning we could all do with some sleep.” I patted Gwen and Morgana as I passed to enter Hunith's home. 

Shortly after I entered, the women and Merlin followed. Fortunately, his 'best friend' Will wasn't with him. I don't think I could be held responsible for anything I did to him in the privacy of Hunith's home. “It's getting late,” Merlin told me, “We should get ready for bed.” I nodded. I watched as Hunith settled in her bed, Morgana and Gwen taking up a spot near the fire to the side of the bed. Merlin jerked his head to the right. Glancing over I saw what he was gesturing to. Part of the house looked like it was set up as a little enclave, a little spot for Merlin to have his own space in a house that was quite literally one room. It was separated by only a thin, nearly transparent sheet, but it would do. I walked over with him to spread out our bed rolls. 

“Now, don't stay up too late talking none stop.” Morgana teased lightly with a wink. 

I sneered at her. While I wanted to talk to Merlin, especially about what I heard while he was in William's home, this was not the right time nor place for such conversations. As it was, Merlin and I couldn't even sleep how we wanted. He placed his head at my feet, knowing that someone would question it if we sleep any different. 

I lay awake for a long time, just staring at the ceiling. Merlin's floor was rough and unforgiving. I think I would have preferred to sleep outside where I could at least have some cushion by using leaves. I waited until the women's breath evened out, indicating they were asleep. I nudged Merlin with my foot, “Merlin, you awake?”

Merlin's hand slid onto my leg, squeezing it gently before it started tracing unknown patterns across my thigh. “Yeah.”

“Did you always sleep on the floor?” I asked, not being able to keep the flabbergasted tone out of my voice. 

“Yeah. The bed I have in Camelot is a luxury compared to this.” Merlin sounded as though he were almost bored. I guess he might be. He grew up like this, I did not. 

“It must have been hard.” I said sympathetically.

“Hmm, yeah, it's like rock.” Merlin said in the same flat tone.

I jerked my knee, catching him lightly in the stomach. “I didn't mean the floor, Merlin. I meant it must have been tough, growing up like this.”

He chuckle lightly, squeezing my leg once more. When he responded he sounded half asleep. “Hmm, I didn't know any different.” he said, the figures he was still drawing on my leg paused as he thought. “It's simple here, Arthur. You eat what you grow, everyone pitches in. As long as you have food on the table and a roof over your head, you are happy.”

I was slightly taken aback by this line of thinking. Trying to cover up for the silence that now hung between us, I said, “Sounds... nice.”

Without even missing a beat, Merlin cut in, “You'd have hated it.”

“No doubt.” I respond back with a laugh. But then I turned curious. “Why'd you leave?”

“Things just changed.” Merlin told me in a small voice. 

“How?”

The silence between us grew again. I stuck my foot out of the covers and tapped him in the face. “Come on now, Merlin. You're finally getting interesting.” I tried to convey as much affection as I could into my words. “How did things change?”

Merlin breathed out a laugh, pushing my foot out of his face. Again he placed his hand onto my leg. He was gripping it now, as if it were the only thing grounding him in this conversation. He sounded sad as he began, “I just didn't fit in anymore.” My stomach clenched in sympathy. “I wanted to find somewhere that I did.” 

“Had any luck?” I asked him, hoping my tone didn't give away how concerned I actually was.

“I'm not sure yet.” Merlin said.

I sat bolt upright. My face must have shown some of my worry, because Merlin sat up as well. “You're not sure yet?” I asked, not even trying to keep the hurt tone out of my voice. 

“Hey,” Merlin told me softly, reaching up to stroke my cheek . “I'm sure about you. I know I fit with you.” He leaned in slowly, placing his lips on mine gently. 

My entire body relaxed, from the kiss or his words, I didn't really care. I ran my hand through his hair, pulling him closer as I did so. The kiss was chaste and quick, just a peck to show each other how we truly feel without words. 

“I love you, Merlin.” I told him anyway, knowing that this was one time where he really needed to hear it. “I love you so much and I couldn't care less if you fit in anywhere. You belong with me and I will always make sure that you feel like you belong.” I told him quietly. Stroking his face, I leaned in for one last kiss, capturing his bottom lip in my mouth I gave it a little suck. Scraping my teeth over his lip I let my tongue explore his mouth, pouring all the love I could muster into the kiss. I only broke the kiss when I heard Morgana snore. I had completely forgotten where we were. There was nothing hiding us from the view of all the women in the house. 

We were both panting by the time we broke apart. “I love you too, Arthur.” 

I smile at him, knowing that I never wanted to let go of this man. He might be keeping a secret from me, but I knew if it really mattered, he would tell me in a heartbeat. For now, I can let it be. “Get some sleep, Merlin. It's going to be a long day tomorrow.” I turned around, making it so we were side by side, faces looking at each other. 

“What about the girls?” Merlin asked concerned. 

“I don't care about them. I care about you. I want to hold you, if only for a little bit.”

Merlin gave me one last kiss before settling down for sleep. “Good night, Arthur.”

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. After nestling my face inside his neck, I responded, “Night Merlin.” But he was already asleep and couldn't answer.


End file.
